{"id":1183,"date":"2021-04-30T03:00:22","date_gmt":"2021-04-30T11:00:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/treehousewriters.com\/wp53\/?p=1183"},"modified":"2021-04-29T21:05:03","modified_gmt":"2021-04-30T05:05:03","slug":"a-different-kind-of-fostering","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/treehousewriters.com\/wp53\/2021\/04\/30\/a-different-kind-of-fostering\/","title":{"rendered":"A Different Kind of Fostering"},"content":{"rendered":"

Previous posts have been about fostering dogs.\u00a0 <\/span>This one is too.\u00a0 <\/span>Just not in the same way.<\/p>\n

My friend B. was one of the first people to welcome me to the neighborhood clique of dog-people, the two of us bonding over dog names (her little pup is Minnie, my gangly beast is Maxi). \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Minnie is a recent adoption.\u00a0 <\/span>Her previous dog died recently, at an advanced age, and she waited a while before getting another.\u00a0 <\/span>They\u2019d only been together a few months when Minnie started acting off.\u00a0 <\/span>They ran tests, and everything came back clear\u2026. until this month it didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Minnie has lymphoma.<\/p>\n

We walk along the curving path through the park, as she tells me the diagnosis, Max and Minnie trotting just ahead of us. They\u2019ve put Minnie on prednisone, and it\u2019s drastically improved her mood and behavior.\u00a0 <\/span>She\u2019s not in pain any more.\u00a0 <\/span>But it\u2019s only buying time.<\/p>\n

The antics of the pups, as they investigate a particularly pungent patch of grass, lightens the mood.\u00a0 It’s what dogs do<\/em>. We give our hearts to our pets in ways we would never dare with another human, and they give us joy in return.\u00a0 <\/span>But the shadow hangs over every relationship, the knowledge that you will likely outlive them.\u00a0 <\/span>And even if you\u2019re willing to do everything possible to keep them alive, at some point you have to ask yourself, who are you doing this for?\u00a0 <\/span>Your pet?\u00a0 <\/span>Or yourself?<\/p>\n

A vet once told me that he\u2019d never had anyone say \u201cI acted too soon.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>Too often it\u2019s, \u201cI waited too long.\u201d<\/p>\n

They\u2019re not going to try chemo, my friend says.\u00a0 <\/span>With her diagnosis, at best it would give them another year, most of which Minnie would spend feeling like hell.\u00a0 <\/span>Chemo isn\u2019t easy for anyone, but especially for an animal that can\u2019t understand what\u2019s happening, or why you keep doing this to them.<\/p>\n

My friend says that diffidently, as though she\u2019s half-expecting to be told she should do and spend whatever it takes.\u00a0 <\/span>But I\u2019ve been there, I know the guilt and grief that gets tangled in the decision-making process.\u00a0 Even when they make it to an advanced age, we beg and bargain for more.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m going to give her the best months I can, my friend says.\u00a0 <\/span>But her voice quavers, her eyes filled with the anticipation of sorrow.<\/p>\n

She\u2019s only had Minnie slightly longer than I\u2019ve had Max.\u00a0 <\/span>I try to imagine being faced with the same situation, and my heart hurts.<\/p>\n

My friend is doing the right thing.\u00a0 <\/span>She knows that.\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s still horrible.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re fostering her,\u201d I suggest, my own recent experiences shaping my words.\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cBefore her next home.\u00a0 <\/span>Giving her a base of love and affection, so she can take that next step without fear.\u201d<\/p>\n

It sounds hokey, the kind of thing you’d find on a sub-par Hallmark card, but there’s something about it that rings true.\u00a0 They’re ours, and we’re theirs, but it’s not ownership.\u00a0 It’s a trust.<\/p>\n

My friend thinks about it for a few minutes, then nods.\u00a0 <\/span>I think that idea helps her, a little.\u00a0 <\/span>I hope it does.<\/p>\n

I hope it will help me, when the time comes again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Previous posts have been about fostering dogs.\u00a0 This one is too.\u00a0 Just not in the same way. My friend B. was one of the first people to welcome me to the neighborhood clique of dog-people, the two of us bonding over dog names (her little pup is Minnie, my gangly beast is Maxi). \u00a0 Minnie […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[91],"tags":[117,44,57],"class_list":["post-1183","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-animals-pets","tag-fostering","tag-grief","tag-laura-anne-gilman"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/treehousewriters.com\/wp53\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1183","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/treehousewriters.com\/wp53\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/treehousewriters.com\/wp53\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/treehousewriters.com\/wp53\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/treehousewriters.com\/wp53\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1183"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/treehousewriters.com\/wp53\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1183\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1185,"href":"https:\/\/treehousewriters.com\/wp53\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1183\/revisions\/1185"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/treehousewriters.com\/wp53\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1183"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/treehousewriters.com\/wp53\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1183"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/treehousewriters.com\/wp53\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1183"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}