I also either walk or take public transit when I go out at night to see a movie or meet someone for dinner or go to an event in San Francisco. I don’t like to drive to social events because I hate traffic, really hate to park, and also might want to have a drink. I do this regardless of whether I’m going with someone or by myself.
I am a little nervous about one thing when I’m out at night, though.
Cars.
Not to sound all old and “get off my lawnish,” but I swear drivers have stopped paying attention to stop signs and even traffic lights. And some of them speed down residential streets. They completely ignore crosswalks, despite the fact that if you take the California written drivers exam at least three of the 20 questions will be about when you’re supposed to yield to pedestrians (all the time).
I’m scared of getting hit by cars. In the winter, when it gets dark early and lots of cars are still on the street, I try to remember my flashlight. And not only do drivers seem more careless than they used to be, but the cars are so damned big.
What I’m not scared of are other human beings on foot.
Unfortunately, other women are. And there are a lot of articles and social media posts and even purported self-defense classes that are aimed at making sure women stay scared.
I always try to debunk the post I see regularly on social media – the one about carrying your keys so that they’re between your fingers (which is only useful if you actually know how to throw a punch) and not going places alone and carrying pepper spray. I work at doing it gently, because people share it in good faith.
They’re scared. The trouble is, they’re mostly scared of the wrong things.
I look up the latest stats, remind people that the biggest risk of sexual assault against women is by people they know – acquaintances, exes, current partners, even family – not strangers. (Murder even more so.) I point out how to pay attention, suggest good self defense classes.
Now, though, I’m just going to tell everyone to read Meg Stone’s new book: Don’t Fight Back and 10 Other Myths About Crime, Personal Safety, and Gender-Based Violence. She’s covered everything I want to say and provided the reader with detailed facts, studies, and statistics to back it up. Continue reading “Staying Safe”…